It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If I die, sorry about rent.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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