Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
