I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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