The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You may now shotgun with the bride
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
