I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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