i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
