I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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