I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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