The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Actions speak louder than pants.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
