i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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