I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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