thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize