Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
