yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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