They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
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I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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