once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
