Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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