I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
