farters have to be the big spoon...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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