If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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