can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize