went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We're too hungover to prance.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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