It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
