I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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