put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
