I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
