Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm passing your future prison.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
