Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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