It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
