scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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