this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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