Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he thought i was a dude.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
