I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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