either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
