i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
