Define "chronic" masturbator.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
