Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
