she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
