Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
