Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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