She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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