it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
