Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize