this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
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Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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