his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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