it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
