i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
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Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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