It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
