It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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