So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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