I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
