Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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