Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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