i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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