I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
