I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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