All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
